How hard this is to me.
How hurt to have you around.
How sad to see your perfect relationship.
How difficult for me not to say "are you okay?"
or when I know you're not in good condition, I really wish I could put a comment on your status.
But I can't.
and this feeling is killing.
like my gastric acid to the heart.
like the cat to the butterfly.
like the duke to the athena.
and I hate you to make me this way.
no cheers this time,
-lune-
Monday, November 16, 2009
Duke and Summer story
He's there sitting in front of the mirror, practicing his words over and over.
and all of the sudden he's having flashback.
He was going to the ball, where his little kingdom was invited.
he never like a party or stuff like that, the fact that he couldn't dance. but his father asked him to come, and he respects his old man so much. so here he is, in the neighbor-kingdom-ball he could not even remembered the name.
Okay, it's already at least half an hour and I still have 3 more hours to pass, and by the 12 I'll have my own freedom. I just have to survive a little longer, he said to himself.
Standing all alone in the corner of the hall, watching people dancing, laughing, drinking champagne -- well, at least he's drinking too only he's got no partner. Oh wait he's not alone. There's this person, standing too and doing exact like him. So he come closer. "Hi" greet Duke. "Hi too" replied the person.
"So, the party makes you bored I suppose" said Duke.
"well, not really. I'm just not a party person"
"I'm Duke by the way, and what yours if I might know?"
"Athena" with warmest smile Duke ever seen
Duke : "Wow, pretty name you have there. Nice to meet you"
Athena : " Thanks. Nice to meet you too Duke"
after long conversation they had, the clock's ticking 12 times. and that means the party is over.
Athena : "I guess it's a sign for us to go"
Duke : "Yes. Or they will force us to stay over in their rooms. Thanks Athena, I couldn't pass this party if I haven't chat with you."
Athena : "Back at you Duke. It's rare to have a man to chat with."
Duke : "So, see you?"
Athena : "See you when I see you"
Since then, they often meet each other. Either to watch movie, have dinner, or spend sometimes together.
until Athena said wants to do something special tonight, more than usual, cause the birthday is tomorrow.
And now, in front of the mirror, Duke thinks, this is it, this is the right moment. As a man, I will propose.
We suppose to meet in the fanciest restaurant in the town, and I will propose under the stars.
Athena : "Duke, this is a great restaurant. It's quite expensive isn't it?"
Duke : "Price is not the most important thing, compare to your birthday"
Athena : "That's the sweetest thing a man ever said to me. Thanks Duke"
In the end of the night, as he plans, he takes Athena to the rooftop of the resto.
Athena : "The sky is clear, look at the stars, they are very pretty"
Duke : "Just like your name"
Athena : "Hey wait a second, what are you doing?"
Duke bend the knees and hand a box. "Open it, and said it out loud. would you marry me?"
Athena : "Oh Duke please, you know I can't marry to you."
Duke : "Just because you are someone's lover, doesn't mean I can't marry you right?"
Athena : "It's not just that. I'm not pretty as my name. Sorry, I couldn't give the best answer in this lovely moment"
Duke : "I don't care about you're not being pretty, about you're even belong to someone. All I want is to be with you."
Athena : "I'm so sorry. I like you too Duke, but just a friend to chat with. Sorry if I make you disappointing. I have a fiancee and I will marry her in the next three months."
Duke never feel that broken-heart. He is speechless. He never got rejection before. But here, for the first time, he is rejected. By a guy, who just pretty by his goddess name, Athena.
"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."
Miss you Duke,
-lune-
and all of the sudden he's having flashback.
He was going to the ball, where his little kingdom was invited.
he never like a party or stuff like that, the fact that he couldn't dance. but his father asked him to come, and he respects his old man so much. so here he is, in the neighbor-kingdom-ball he could not even remembered the name.
Okay, it's already at least half an hour and I still have 3 more hours to pass, and by the 12 I'll have my own freedom. I just have to survive a little longer, he said to himself.
Standing all alone in the corner of the hall, watching people dancing, laughing, drinking champagne -- well, at least he's drinking too only he's got no partner. Oh wait he's not alone. There's this person, standing too and doing exact like him. So he come closer. "Hi" greet Duke. "Hi too" replied the person.
"So, the party makes you bored I suppose" said Duke.
"well, not really. I'm just not a party person"
"I'm Duke by the way, and what yours if I might know?"
"Athena" with warmest smile Duke ever seen
Duke : "Wow, pretty name you have there. Nice to meet you"
Athena : " Thanks. Nice to meet you too Duke"
after long conversation they had, the clock's ticking 12 times. and that means the party is over.
Athena : "I guess it's a sign for us to go"
Duke : "Yes. Or they will force us to stay over in their rooms. Thanks Athena, I couldn't pass this party if I haven't chat with you."
Athena : "Back at you Duke. It's rare to have a man to chat with."
Duke : "So, see you?"
Athena : "See you when I see you"
Since then, they often meet each other. Either to watch movie, have dinner, or spend sometimes together.
until Athena said wants to do something special tonight, more than usual, cause the birthday is tomorrow.
And now, in front of the mirror, Duke thinks, this is it, this is the right moment. As a man, I will propose.
We suppose to meet in the fanciest restaurant in the town, and I will propose under the stars.
Athena : "Duke, this is a great restaurant. It's quite expensive isn't it?"
Duke : "Price is not the most important thing, compare to your birthday"
Athena : "That's the sweetest thing a man ever said to me. Thanks Duke"
In the end of the night, as he plans, he takes Athena to the rooftop of the resto.
Athena : "The sky is clear, look at the stars, they are very pretty"
Duke : "Just like your name"
Athena : "Hey wait a second, what are you doing?"
Duke bend the knees and hand a box. "Open it, and said it out loud. would you marry me?"
Athena : "Oh Duke please, you know I can't marry to you."
Duke : "Just because you are someone's lover, doesn't mean I can't marry you right?"
Athena : "It's not just that. I'm not pretty as my name. Sorry, I couldn't give the best answer in this lovely moment"
Duke : "I don't care about you're not being pretty, about you're even belong to someone. All I want is to be with you."
Athena : "I'm so sorry. I like you too Duke, but just a friend to chat with. Sorry if I make you disappointing. I have a fiancee and I will marry her in the next three months."
Duke never feel that broken-heart. He is speechless. He never got rejection before. But here, for the first time, he is rejected. By a guy, who just pretty by his goddess name, Athena.
"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."
Miss you Duke,
-lune-
Friday, November 13, 2009
saya mau kamu tau
kalo kamu udah bikin hati saya sakit.
kalo kamu udah bikin saya nangis-nangis setelah saya kenal kamu.
kalo kamu udah bikin perasaan saya campur aduk dan mengalahkan logika yang ada.
tapi kamu juga bikin hati saya berdebar-debar.
kamu juga bikin saya senyum-senyum di suatu saat.
dan kamu bikin logika menjadi tidak penting, karna kamu lebih penting.
otak saya bilang saya harus lupain kamu, hindarin kamu.
teman saya bilang saya harus hindarin kamu, lupain kamu.
cuma hati saya yang bertahan. entah apa yang ada di benak hati saya.
saya mau kamu tau.
saya mau kamu mendengar lagu-lagu yang menggambarkan perasaan saya.
tapi saya terlalu malu.
malu kalau kamu tau, dan kalau di pikiran saya cuma ada kamu melulu.
rumah, 18 April 2009 ( seminggu saya ngindarin kamu-itu juga kalo kamu tau)
- lune -
kalo kamu udah bikin saya nangis-nangis setelah saya kenal kamu.
kalo kamu udah bikin perasaan saya campur aduk dan mengalahkan logika yang ada.
tapi kamu juga bikin hati saya berdebar-debar.
kamu juga bikin saya senyum-senyum di suatu saat.
dan kamu bikin logika menjadi tidak penting, karna kamu lebih penting.
otak saya bilang saya harus lupain kamu, hindarin kamu.
teman saya bilang saya harus hindarin kamu, lupain kamu.
cuma hati saya yang bertahan. entah apa yang ada di benak hati saya.
saya mau kamu tau.
saya mau kamu mendengar lagu-lagu yang menggambarkan perasaan saya.
tapi saya terlalu malu.
malu kalau kamu tau, dan kalau di pikiran saya cuma ada kamu melulu.
rumah, 18 April 2009 ( seminggu saya ngindarin kamu-itu juga kalo kamu tau)
- lune -
Thursday, November 12, 2009
cerita hujan di pertengahan sore -- side story
Hari ini, hujan belum menunjukkan kehadirannya padaku.
tapi petir bergemuruh seolah memberi tanda, "hujan akan datang"
Jadi, aku mulai mempersiapkan pulpen dan notesku dengan rapih di meja.
untuk mendengarkan cerita hujan, di pertengahan sore..
Hujan hari ini membawa cerita dari seorang kupu-kupu. Kupu-kupu cantik bernama Glea yang sedang bermain kala hujan melintas. Ia meneduh di rumah penduduk sekitar.
Glea masih kecil sehingga ia begitu takut bajunya basah. Kasihan Ibu yang mencuci, ujarnya. Ia meneduh lama sampai tidak menyadari ada yang sedang mengintip dari balik jendela.
Cress namanya. Cress tinggal di dalam sangkar seperti Istana berlapis emas. Hampir semua kebutuhannya terpenuhi. Tidak pernah dalam hidupnya, ia mempunyai keinginan sedalam ini. keinginan yang begitu menggebu-gebu seolah memaksa keluar dari dada. Betapa Cress ingin sekali menyentuh Glea, sekedar berteman dengannya, atau berkata "kamu cantik".
Cress hanya bisa memandangi dari kejauhan.. Berusaha memanggil namanya pun belum tentu Glea akan menyukai suaranya. Ahh.. Cress jadi dilema. Bingung sendiri apa yang harus ia lakukan. Mungkin aku bisa bernyanyi, begitu pikirnya. Tapi.. nyanyian apa yang cocok untuk makhluk seindah ini yah. Mungkin, Ia sudah bosan menerima berbagai macam nyanyian dari para pria yang menyimpan hasrat yang sama padanya. Setelah berpikir lama, ia masih belum menemukan jawaban, apa yang harus ia lakukan untuk menarik perhatian Glea.
Namun hujan keburu reda, dan Glea sudah terbang menuju kebebasannya. Meninggalkan Cress yang masih diam termenung. Akhirnya Cress membuat surat, yang ia harap hujan sampaikan pada Glea..
"Indah. Aku tidak tahu namamu. Aku tidak tahu apakah kamu peri atau malaikat. Seumur hidupku, baru kali ini aku melihat makhluk seindah dirimu. Berada di istana emas, tempat makan terbuat dari mutiara, aku pikir tidak ada yang lebih indah dari ini. Lalu aku melihat dirimu, betapa aku menyadari pasti lebih banyak lagi hal-hal indah di dunia ini yang belum pernah aku lihat. Nanti, ketika kamu kemari, ceritakan banyak hal tentang dunia sana yah. Aku akan selalu berada di istana emas ini, di balik jendela, tempat kita pertama kali bertemu. Aku akan selalu ada di sini. Salam."
Cress menunggu, hampir sebulan berlalu, Glea tak kunjung datang. Apakah ia harus menulis surat lagi? Ahh tidak, nanti Glea pasti akan menemuinya. Membawa cerita indah mengenai dunia di luar sana. Tapi, bila musim hujan berakhir, lalu nanti siapa yang akan menyampaikan surat-suratnya? Cress selalu setia menunggu. Seperti janjinya di dalam surat.
Sampai akhirnya tiba suatu saat Cress berhasil keluar dari sarang emasnya untuk pertama kali. Tapi ia keluar bukan untuk menjumpai Glea. Ia hanya berpindah tempat, ke dalam peti emas, di pekarangan depan rumahnya.
Dan hari itu hujan deras sekali, seolah langit turut berduka bagi kepergian Cress, kucing Anggora berusia 12 tahun tersebut.
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart.
I'll stay there forever"
Cheers,
-lune-
tapi petir bergemuruh seolah memberi tanda, "hujan akan datang"
Jadi, aku mulai mempersiapkan pulpen dan notesku dengan rapih di meja.
untuk mendengarkan cerita hujan, di pertengahan sore..
Hujan hari ini membawa cerita dari seorang kupu-kupu. Kupu-kupu cantik bernama Glea yang sedang bermain kala hujan melintas. Ia meneduh di rumah penduduk sekitar.
Glea masih kecil sehingga ia begitu takut bajunya basah. Kasihan Ibu yang mencuci, ujarnya. Ia meneduh lama sampai tidak menyadari ada yang sedang mengintip dari balik jendela.
Cress namanya. Cress tinggal di dalam sangkar seperti Istana berlapis emas. Hampir semua kebutuhannya terpenuhi. Tidak pernah dalam hidupnya, ia mempunyai keinginan sedalam ini. keinginan yang begitu menggebu-gebu seolah memaksa keluar dari dada. Betapa Cress ingin sekali menyentuh Glea, sekedar berteman dengannya, atau berkata "kamu cantik".
Cress hanya bisa memandangi dari kejauhan.. Berusaha memanggil namanya pun belum tentu Glea akan menyukai suaranya. Ahh.. Cress jadi dilema. Bingung sendiri apa yang harus ia lakukan. Mungkin aku bisa bernyanyi, begitu pikirnya. Tapi.. nyanyian apa yang cocok untuk makhluk seindah ini yah. Mungkin, Ia sudah bosan menerima berbagai macam nyanyian dari para pria yang menyimpan hasrat yang sama padanya. Setelah berpikir lama, ia masih belum menemukan jawaban, apa yang harus ia lakukan untuk menarik perhatian Glea.
Namun hujan keburu reda, dan Glea sudah terbang menuju kebebasannya. Meninggalkan Cress yang masih diam termenung. Akhirnya Cress membuat surat, yang ia harap hujan sampaikan pada Glea..
"Indah. Aku tidak tahu namamu. Aku tidak tahu apakah kamu peri atau malaikat. Seumur hidupku, baru kali ini aku melihat makhluk seindah dirimu. Berada di istana emas, tempat makan terbuat dari mutiara, aku pikir tidak ada yang lebih indah dari ini. Lalu aku melihat dirimu, betapa aku menyadari pasti lebih banyak lagi hal-hal indah di dunia ini yang belum pernah aku lihat. Nanti, ketika kamu kemari, ceritakan banyak hal tentang dunia sana yah. Aku akan selalu berada di istana emas ini, di balik jendela, tempat kita pertama kali bertemu. Aku akan selalu ada di sini. Salam."
Cress menunggu, hampir sebulan berlalu, Glea tak kunjung datang. Apakah ia harus menulis surat lagi? Ahh tidak, nanti Glea pasti akan menemuinya. Membawa cerita indah mengenai dunia di luar sana. Tapi, bila musim hujan berakhir, lalu nanti siapa yang akan menyampaikan surat-suratnya? Cress selalu setia menunggu. Seperti janjinya di dalam surat.
Sampai akhirnya tiba suatu saat Cress berhasil keluar dari sarang emasnya untuk pertama kali. Tapi ia keluar bukan untuk menjumpai Glea. Ia hanya berpindah tempat, ke dalam peti emas, di pekarangan depan rumahnya.
Dan hari itu hujan deras sekali, seolah langit turut berduka bagi kepergian Cress, kucing Anggora berusia 12 tahun tersebut.
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart.
I'll stay there forever"
Cheers,
-lune-
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
...
aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana.
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu,
kepada api yang menjadikannya abu.
aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana.
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan awan,
kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada.
(puisi karya Sapardi Djoko Damono)
aku tidak punya kata-kata indah layaknya penyair.
aku tidak punya cerita untuk disuguhkan layaknya pengarang.
aku tidak punya modal untuk menyukaimu, sungguh.
aku cuma punya hati, itupun sudah penuh dengan goresan.
Cheers,
-lune-
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu,
kepada api yang menjadikannya abu.
aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana.
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan awan,
kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada.
(puisi karya Sapardi Djoko Damono)
aku tidak punya kata-kata indah layaknya penyair.
aku tidak punya cerita untuk disuguhkan layaknya pengarang.
aku tidak punya modal untuk menyukaimu, sungguh.
aku cuma punya hati, itupun sudah penuh dengan goresan.
Cheers,
-lune-
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
irritable truth about men
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. NOW...WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?!?! .
Just for Fun xD
Cheers,
-lune-
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. NOW...WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?!?! .
Just for Fun xD
Cheers,
-lune-
Monday, November 2, 2009
Dear you,
I want you to know,
dear Guy whom I wrongfully fall for..
I dont blame my heart when she was falling for you.
I dont blame my brain when he was not take care of my heart of falling for you.
I dont blame you when you're being nice to me
I dont blame me when I'm here listening to you're stories
You're there when someone gone.
you're almost always there during my days.
so, it was my mistake to have more-than-friend feeling.
but I wont say why, because I think you already know the answer.
yet, you're still there but it's okay, cause I already handle the feeling I used to have.
and I'm glad we still be friend :)
dear Guy whom I wrongfully fall for..
I dont blame my heart when she was falling for you.
I dont blame my brain when he was not take care of my heart of falling for you.
I dont blame you when you're being nice to me
I dont blame me when I'm here listening to you're stories
You're there when someone gone.
you're almost always there during my days.
so, it was my mistake to have more-than-friend feeling.
but I wont say why, because I think you already know the answer.
yet, you're still there but it's okay, cause I already handle the feeling I used to have.
and I'm glad we still be friend :)
Cheers,
-lune-
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