alice

mommy, I'm sick ryte now.
and I don't like for being sick.
cause when I'm sick, I'm so pathetic.

mommy, most of the times I feel fragile.
like no one could guide me.
well, I still have God but sometimes I need the real voice.
then I just trapped inside with my own confusion.

I'm a grown-up. I should have know what way should I take.
but sometimes I feel like Alice, losing my way in my wonderland.
never know how should I face everyone.
are they lying? are they telling me the truth?
are they meaning every smile or words to me, or they just faking it.

mommy, am I wrong if I'm still shocked and feel hurt,
when I know about reality that bites.
or I always got my heart scratched,
when someone did something bad to me.

mommy, I think I need a good guidance for my problem.
that the world is not as good as written in H.C. Andersen books.
that there will never be a happy ending, as the Cinderella story.
cause life keep moving, everyone move on, so the end will only end when they die.

mommy, I'm sick I don't even know what this is all about.
I just need to write, to keep me sane.

Dizzy,

-lune-

Selamat Hari Ibu, Ma!

Ma, besok hari Ibu.
Aku ga bisa kasih apa-apa,
aku cuma bisa kirim surat.

Ma, dulu aku ga ngerti kenapa orang merayakan hari Ibu.
Aku dulu bahkan melewatkan tanggal itu.

Ma, meski mama sering sendirian di rumah
karna kami sibuk dengan kegiatan masing-masing,
mama hampir ga pernah ngeluh.
Mama malah memeluk kami dan berkata "semua akan baik-baik saja sayang"
di saat kami mengeluh.

Ma, kami rindu senyum mama.
kangen dipeluk mama saat pulang ke rumah.

Ma, sekarang aku mengerti hebatnya seorang Ibu.
dan betapa merayakan hari Ibu menjadi berarti.
setidaknya kami diingatkan, bahwa Ibu selalu ada untuk kami.

*cium-peluk-kangen untuk mama*

aku sayang mama :)

-lune-

lost in translation

Don't be so nice.
Don't be there when I feel empty.
Don't accompany me through my in-cheerful days.

Don't be so kind.
Don't cheer me up when I am down.
Don't treat me nice when someone just treated me bad.

Don't be that kind.
I could fall for you.
When in fact, I might lost in translation.
I just don't want to fall too hard.

Cheers,

-lune-

butterfly

No, it's not a story about the butterfly, not even about Glea.
her story will come after this, since the rain not coming to my place yet.
Today I looked at my friend's wedding invitation, and there's a quotation that bothered me.
"If you feel butterflies in your tummy, it means u'r in love"
I actually don't get the meaning. What the butterfly do in someone's tummy? and even butterflies, that means more than one.
I think, when I'm in love, I just couldn't think clear, speak clear, like a dumb.
I hope I'm not often falling in love so that I don't look like a dumb everytime.
and now, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I couldn't even finished this whatsoever unimportant writing.
I'm dumb.

oh I almost forget the word cheers,

-lune-

If only you know

How hard this is to me.
How hurt to have you around.
How sad to see your perfect relationship.
How difficult for me not to say "are you okay?"
or when I know you're not in good condition, I really wish I could put a comment on your status.
But I can't.

and this feeling is killing.
like my gastric acid to the heart.
like the cat to the butterfly.
like the duke to the athena.

and I hate you to make me this way.

no cheers this time,

-lune-

Duke and Summer story

He's there sitting in front of the mirror, practicing his words over and over.
and all of the sudden he's having flashback.
He was going to the ball, where his little kingdom was invited.
he never like a party or stuff like that, the fact that he couldn't dance. but his father asked him to come, and he respects his old man so much. so here he is, in the neighbor-kingdom-ball he could not even remembered the name.
Okay, it's already at least half an hour and I still have 3 more hours to pass, and by the 12 I'll have my own freedom. I just have to survive a little longer, he said to himself.
Standing all alone in the corner of the hall, watching people dancing, laughing, drinking champagne -- well, at least he's drinking too only he's got no partner. Oh wait he's not alone. There's this person, standing too and doing exact like him. So he come closer. "Hi" greet Duke. "Hi too" replied the person.
"So, the party makes you bored I suppose" said Duke.
"well, not really. I'm just not a party person"
"I'm Duke by the way, and what yours if I might know?"
"Athena" with warmest smile Duke ever seen
Duke : "Wow, pretty name you have there. Nice to meet you"
Athena : " Thanks. Nice to meet you too Duke"
after long conversation they had, the clock's ticking 12 times. and that means the party is over.
Athena : "I guess it's a sign for us to go"
Duke : "Yes. Or they will force us to stay over in their rooms. Thanks Athena, I couldn't pass this party if I haven't chat with you."
Athena : "Back at you Duke. It's rare to have a man to chat with."
Duke : "So, see you?"
Athena : "See you when I see you"
Since then, they often meet each other. Either to watch movie, have dinner, or spend sometimes together.
until Athena said wants to do something special tonight, more than usual, cause the birthday is tomorrow.
And now, in front of the mirror, Duke thinks, this is it, this is the right moment. As a man, I will propose.
We suppose to meet in the fanciest restaurant in the town, and I will propose under the stars.
Athena : "Duke, this is a great restaurant. It's quite expensive isn't it?"
Duke : "Price is not the most important thing, compare to your birthday"
Athena : "That's the sweetest thing a man ever said to me. Thanks Duke"
In the end of the night, as he plans, he takes Athena to the rooftop of the resto.
Athena : "The sky is clear, look at the stars, they are very pretty"
Duke : "Just like your name"
Athena : "Hey wait a second, what are you doing?"
Duke bend the knees and hand a box. "Open it, and said it out loud. would you marry me?"
Athena : "Oh Duke please, you know I can't marry to you."
Duke : "Just because you are someone's lover, doesn't mean I can't marry you right?"
Athena : "It's not just that. I'm not pretty as my name. Sorry, I couldn't give the best answer in this lovely moment"
Duke : "I don't care about you're not being pretty, about you're even belong to someone. All I want is to be with you."
Athena : "I'm so sorry. I like you too Duke, but just a friend to chat with. Sorry if I make you disappointing. I have a fiancee and I will marry her in the next three months."
Duke never feel that broken-heart. He is speechless. He never got rejection before. But here, for the first time, he is rejected. By a guy, who just pretty by his goddess name, Athena.

"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."

Miss you Duke,

-lune-

saya mau kamu tau

kalo kamu udah bikin hati saya sakit.
kalo kamu udah bikin saya nangis-nangis setelah saya kenal kamu.
kalo kamu udah bikin perasaan saya campur aduk dan mengalahkan logika yang ada.

tapi kamu juga bikin hati saya berdebar-debar.
kamu juga bikin saya senyum-senyum di suatu saat.
dan kamu bikin logika menjadi tidak penting, karna kamu lebih penting.

otak saya bilang saya harus lupain kamu, hindarin kamu.
teman saya bilang saya harus hindarin kamu, lupain kamu.
cuma hati saya yang bertahan. entah apa yang ada di benak hati saya.

saya mau kamu tau.
saya mau kamu mendengar lagu-lagu yang menggambarkan perasaan saya.
tapi saya terlalu malu.
malu kalau kamu tau, dan kalau di pikiran saya cuma ada kamu melulu.

rumah, 18 April 2009 ( seminggu saya ngindarin kamu-itu juga kalo kamu tau)
- lune -